The Secret Dreamworld of an Aspiring Author by Anna Bell - Losing The Safety Net
This week I’m embarking on my new career as a full time writer. It’s something I’ve wanted for so long and whilst I’m excited, I’m equally terrified.
There's something reassuring about a pay cheque that appears magically in your bank account at the end of the month, with a figure that is guaranteed. Last Friday, I received the last of those. From now on whatever appears in my bank account will be whatever I made sixty days previously on Amazon. Which will be fine if my books continue to sell, but... what if they don’t? And what if, as one of my husband’s friends said, I run out of ideas? All I can do is keep my fingers crossed and continue to be optimistic.
I’ve dreamt of the days when I’ll have time to write, but now it’s here I’m finding it a little daunting. Working full time meant that I had to shoehorn my writing into my evenings and free time on the weekends. I had to plan my week meticulously to make sure I was on schedule. By removing my working week I feel slightly lost! I don’t have that structure. Will I have the same drive to write in a frenzy, now that I don’t have so much pressure on my time?
I’ve also noticed that my diary over the next few months seems to be filling up. I seem to have become a bit of a lady that lunches and goes on day trips. I guess the sudden freedom of not having to be in the office at particular times of the day has been liberating.
I’ve got a blank slate in front of me. I don’t yet know what my daily routine will be like. I don’t know how productive I’m going to be, how many hours am I going to be able to spend on the laptop day in, day out. I think that is why it feels so scary.
But at the same time whilst I’m facing the unknown, I’m very excited. At the end of it all I’m relying on myself to write the books. I don't have to do work that gets held up waiting for other people to do their bits, or have other people take credit for what I’ve done. With me self-publishing my books whatever I produce is down to me. And whilst I’m in the transition of finding my feet as a full time writer, my husband has very helpfully taken it upon himself to make sure I keep on track. He’s told me he’s going to be asking me for my daily word count and monitoring just how many lunches I go on - until, I guess, I achieve the same success as E. L James with her self-publishing, and then I’m sure I will be able to go on as many lunches as I want to without a raised eyebrow.
Has anyone else left work to write full time? How did you find your feet?