Last night when I read that Tulisa Contostavlos has signed a three-book deal with Headline and that two of those books would be novels, I welled up. I honestly did. I'm not an easy crier (tear ducts of STEEL), but my eyes blurred with hot little tears of frustration that spilled over on to the space bar of my laptop and left a stain.
I am, right at this minute, going through the process of trying to get my own first book published, and my gut reaction to this news was fear. How am I supposed to compete with Tulisa? WHY am I supposed compete with Tulisa? WHY? *shakes fist at sky*
We're all used to seeing news of 'where the pickle did that come from?' book deals. Theo Walcott writing children's books? The Kardashians? The recent "Seven Steps to Kevin Bacon Prince William" signing of the King-To-Be's New Wife's Little Sister's Pilates Coach, anyone? But this feels worse. It feels like a wrong thing.
Once I'd calmed down and firmly told myself that bitter is sooo not a good look on anyone, I thought that maybe I was over-reacting. Maybe Tulisa IS one of those celebrities who's just as good at writing as they are at singing and judging members of the public's singing. Is Tulisa a polymath? Maybe she's funny? Maybe she has been secretly, furiously, scribbling her novel on the back of the tour-bus, staying in instead of going out just so she can spend some time carefully untangling a knotty plot thread? Maybe, each time she stumbled over a sentence on X Factor, it was because she was daydreaming about her beloved protagonist or writing a wonderfully romantic scene in her head (let's face it, the novels will be aimed at us chick litters). Headline ARE leading with the line that Tulisa "is an incredibly talented writer". I googled and there WAS talk of Tulisa writing a book way back in October of last year (does anyone else story-board their books? Sounds hard). So maybe she really does mean it.
Maybe...
Or maybe Headline have well and truly scraped the barrel; Tulisa's book will be either ghost-written, or rubbish, and the hopes of aspiring writers will be dashed forever. Maybe, next week we'll hear news of someone from Towie writing a novel? Or maybe the cousin of that guy who sings the creepy 'Girl at the Platform' song on the match.com advert.
I do have more to say about Tulisa's book deal, but this is Novelicious Natters and the point is that we natter. So, we'd love to talk to you in the comments. Readers, are you excited to read a book by Tulisa? Writers, how do you feel about this?
Let us know.
